What Every Husband Should Know

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

1 Peter 3:7

Peter says a that a husband must exercise deliberate love toward his wife. This reflects the deepest emotional need in woman. When he says that men should be considerate, he is literally saying to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. This suggests that it is possible for men to understand women. And one of the most important things they must understand is they must feel secure in their husband's affection. It is his job to make her feel highly regarded, to honor her. He is to show courtesy to her, thoughtful consideration under every circumstance. One of the most devastating things that can occur is for the husband to become critical toward his wife, treating her with scorn or sarcasm. This causes the disintegration of many marriages, for it threatens the basic nature of woman. It is the man's job to make his wife feel important to him and to never take her for granted.

Some time ago I clipped out a humorous article that traces the tendency in marriage to drift from a height of bliss into the humdrum of routine attitudes. Called The Seven Ages of the Married Cold, it reveals the reaction of a husband to his wife's colds during seven years of marriage.

First year: Sugar dumpling, I'm worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle and there's no telling about these things with all this strep around. I'm putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest.

Second year: Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of that cough and I've called Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, please?

Third year: Maybe you'd better lie down, honey; nothing like a little rest when you feel punk. I'll bring you something to eat. Have we got any soup?

Fourth year: Look dear, be sensible. After you feed the kids and get the dishes washed, you'd better hit the sack.

Fifth year: Why don't you get yourself a couple of aspirin?

Sixth year: If you'd just gargle instead of sitting around barking like a seal!

Seventh year: For Pete's sake, stop sneezing! You trying to gimme pneumonia?

This is the most common complaint of wives to counselors. They say, My husband takes me for granted. I'm like another piece of furniture around the house. She is being threatened at the deepest level of her life. She no longer feels secure in her husband's affection. She may react in ways men view as unreasonable. Perhaps he comes home with no idea that anything is wrong, and he makes some commonplace statement, and to his surprise his wife blows up and marches out of the room in a huff. The poor man is bewildered, saying to himself, What did I do? But something has threatened his wife's feeling of security in his affections and she is testing him. The wise husband soon learns that he needs to be considerate and thoughtful, and he will reestablish her security in his affection. That is why the husband's great responsibility in the home is simply to love his wife.

God, you have been so considerate towards me, even in the little things. Help me to show that same consideration to others.