Heirs Together

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

1 Peter 3:7

Peter wants husbands to understand the need for unlimited sharing of his own life with his wife. You are heirs together, he says, of the gracious gift of life. This means that a husband must recognize his wife's right to share every part of his life. All the barriers must come down between them, all the channels of communication must be open. There are no off-limit areas that he keeps separate from his wife.

This does not mean that they must always participate in everything mutually. He may be sports-minded and she may not like sports, and it does not mean that he must drag her out on the ski slopes when she would rather be home. But there must be mutual understanding in this area; there is to be no threat of rivalry to his love for her from some outside activity. This relates again to that central need of a woman to have first place in her husband's affections. He must share so fully his needs and desires with her that she understands the whole situation and feels no threat arising from it. What good is a partner if she is excluded from some particular area? Her urge to share his life fully accounts for woman's notorious curiosity — she cannot tolerate exclusion from any area of her husband's life. He is to open these doors of channel and communication to her. They are heirs together of the grace of life.

Peter has one more point to make. It is not a word of exhortation, but a word of warning. Failure by the husband to observe these things means your prayers will be hindered. If the husband's failure prevents oneness, then inevitably the marriage grows dull and the glow which the presence of God makes possible is gone. The man learns that he cannot go ahead of his wife in this respect. He cannot advance beyond her spiritually, for he discovers that he cannot grow in grace apart from bringing her along with him. Life can only be satisfying when they move together into a deeper, day-by-day contact with an indwelling God. This is what makes for richness in a home.

Father, I cannot separate my horizontal relationships from my vertical relationship with you. Teach me that how I treat others impacts the intimacy I enjoy with you. Amen.