Forgive One Another

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

What a beautiful thing it is to find forgiveness in a Christian's heart! It does not mean that we are not to air a grievance we may feel. We are told in Scripture that if we have something against another, to go to the other and tell him his or her fault between you and him alone. We do not have to repress every feeling of injustice or unfairness that we feel. We are to say how we feel, but having done that, forgive it. Put it away. No longer let yourself think about it. Our model, of course, is Christ's treatment of us. That is what he did when we came to him. He forgave the unkind thoughts, the blasphemous attitudes, the grievous, hurtful sins that we have done. The Old Testament tells us that when we come to him he casts our transgressions into the depths of the sea. And, as dear Corrie Ten Boom used to say, he puts up a sign that says, No Fishing.

It is helpful to remember that forgiveness means at least three things. First, it means that we are not to bring up the thing we forgave to the person whom we have forgiven. We are to treat him as though it did not happen. We are not to constantly harass him or her with reminders of the evil things they did in the past. Some marriages stumble greatly because the partners not only get hysterical, they get historical! They go back over the past, ready to trot it out and rehash it once more. That shows that it has never truly been forgiven in the first place. God does not do that. How terrible it would be if he did; if we had constantly to face reminders from him of the awful things of our past!

The second thing forgiveness means is that we do not tell anybody else about the matter that is forgiven. We do not gossip about it. It is not that we actually erase it from memory; we may think of it from time to time, but we are not to dwell on it. We are not to allow it to take over again, to awaken feelings of resentment and unfairness and play it all over again. We can do that because we ourselves have been forgiven. Let us remember how graciously God has set aside our own failures.

Then the third thing forgiveness means is you do not remind yourself of what has been forgiven! Even in your private thoughts, you don't allow the offense to come up and to color your attitude toward the one you have forgiven. If it does come up, you must put it away and remind yourself that you too need to be forgiven. You do not want people mulling over your sins and dredging them up all the time. No, forgiveness means to put it aside even to yourself because that is what Christ has done for us.

Thank you, Lord for forgiving me and casting my sins as far as the East is from the West. Help me to forgive, as I have been forgiven. Amen.