Boy Meets Girl

The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 2:23-24

What a scene that must have been! Here is the first of a long series of Boy Meets Girl stories. Out of this condensed account of this encounter, there emerge these factors that are essential to marriage. The first is that marriage is to involve a complete oneness. The two are to be one. Adam's first reaction, when he saw his wife, was of her being one with him. This is strengthened when it says, and they shall become one flesh. It is not without reason that this has become part of the marriage service, this recognition of unity. As someone has well said, the one word above all that makes marriage successful is ours. Things belong to us. Thus, as the New Testament so wisely points out, the man who hurts his wife is hurting himself. He may not feel it directly, but down the line the result of it will show in his life, because she is genuinely sharing one life with him. They become one flesh.

The second thing that is brought out here is the Biblical principle of headship, which is developed at much greater length in the New Testament. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Paul enlarges on this in his letter to Timothy, to point out that man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man. It is the man who is ultimately responsible before God for the character of the home. It is the man who must exercise leadership in determining the direction in which the home should go, and must therefore answer for that leadership before God. The woman's responsibility is to acknowledge this leadership. One of the most serious threats to marriage today is that men are abdicating the role of leadership in the home, leaving it up to the wife to raise the children. They are refusing to be fathers to their children and husbands to their wives, wanting rather to be sons to another mother and to have their own needs ministered to.

Then the third factor indicated here which characterizes true marriage is permanence. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. This is a strong word. In the Hebrew text it is the word dabag, which means to adhere firmly, as if with glue. In the days of Henry Ford and the Model T, someone asked him to what formula he attributed his successful marriage. He said, The same formula as the making of a successful car: stick to one model. A husband is to cleave to his wife. He forsakes all others and adheres to her. Whatever she may be like, he is to hold to her, stay with her, and she with him. Marriage is a permanent thing.

As always, Father, I feel the searching quality of your word as it exposes to me my weakness. But it sets before me also great possibilities as I submit myself to the wisdom reflected in your word. Grant to me now a submissive heart and restored confidence in you. Amen.